She joined the club. I didn’t want her to.
But she joined the club.
Sucked in by the relief of the next hit. The release of another drink. The black oblivion. The freedom of nothingness.
At half my age, she could have been my daughter.
With her fears and addictions, she could have been mine.
She will not know the ecstasy of a new baby’s messy birth. She will not feel the comfort of supper waiting for her at the end of a busy day. She will not reflect on good times with lifelong friends.
She will be stuck at twenty seven. A member of the club.
A lost artist who carried too much pain.
To join the club, she had to leave.
I didn’t want her to.
(Written for Amy, August 2011)
©Conni Cartlidge, 2011
Such a heart-felt piece. The pain that she must have felt, The hurt, the sadness and the loneliness. Not one of those young artists in the club chose to be a member. No one chooses to become lost, addicted. Some of use find our way out of the darkness. Others, like Amy, never will. I know in years to come that her music will still touch hearts. I often feel that same loss when I listen to Kurt's music. I wish he was still here to share his musical genius.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
We are so lucky to have our kids share their music with us, aren't we?
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