Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Time to Think (An Election Week Story)

I learned a new word last week: prorogue. Made me think of professional, proactive, pros & cons, rogue elephants, mischievous rogues…but what it turned out to mean was the ending of a legislative assembly. The current prorogation (yes, another new word for me!) was different because the Governor General had to step in and call it. The parliamentary boys behaving badly were sent for a time out, a cool down, a chance to think about what they had done. Sounded like a good idea to me. So I prorogued myself. I stopped and took some time to think about what I did this past year. And this is what I remembered:

* Quietly savouring the cold January day that marked my 20th birthday in AA, and gratefully acknowledging the strong women and patient husband who have stood by me all these years.

* Joe leading Mary and I on a springtime hike through the bush and witnessing dozens of baby turtles swimming and bobbing and playing in the deep waters of a deserted gravel pit. The sight was worth every wood tick we later picked off of ourselves.

* Singing along to Amy Winehouse, too loudly and enthusiastically, on the summer road trip out east, and then suffering the humiliation of said singing being posted on Facebook. Thank you dear daughter.

* Bonding with my daughter-in-(common) law, Morgan, as she painstakingly, and only a little painfully, tattoos a maple seed on to my right wrist. A small symbol of my children – sometimes messy, but able to thrive and grow no matter where they fly or land.

* Listening to my sons jam together; Ari on banjo and Joe on guitar, and vice versa.

* Waking up at 2:00 am in a Toronto hotel room to the sounds of quiet sobbing as Brent, Joe and I feel the emptiness of Mary’s absence. Subsequently, the tears have turned to laughter as we watch her stand up routines at YukYuk’s, via youtube.

* Working with Brent to prepare our home for monthly house concerts with some Folk Festival favourites. The scrounged ping pong table stage is a great addition to the performance. Even our friends at the back of the room can enjoy the show!

* Sharing the heartbreaking grief of a young man’s death and trying to find the words to console his mother – the most difficult letter I have ever written for the saddest experience she has ever known.

* Riding my bike alongside my Dad on his 80th birthday during the Terry Fox run.

* Making rollepolser with Mom and remembering Grandma Pedersen as we work together. Was it an accident that Mom poked me with the sewing needle when we wondered aloud if we were making it according to Grandma’s standards?

* Anticipating full rooms in a partially empty nest during the holidays!

So my prorogation has been a success. I have taken time to think. My experiences have had nothing to do with economics or political parties. They are about a strong coalition of family and friends. To the politicians, I say, “Be thankful you have been prorogued. Think carefully about your actions. Try to solve your problems in new ways. Play nice. We’re counting on you.”

(Originally written in December 2008)




©Conni Cartlidge, 2008

Monday, October 18, 2010

Clothes: A Story About Mom

The clothes that we wore, the way we were dressed, the outfits we put together, have always been reflections of you.

One of my earliest memories of you is something you wore – the brown quilted skirt. What I remember best about it is using it for dress-up clothes in our pretend play, but I always knew it was yours and it was special and quite unique. Over the years, you tried many different styles…long hair, short hair (always red!), cat’s eye glasses, ‘cat-in-the-hat’ hats, cowboy boots and shirts, pedal pushers, jeans, pant suits, swim suits, polyester gowns, tennis shorts, tennis skirts, tennis shoes, running shoes, cameos, copper jewelry, and Hudson’s Bay & Linda Lundstrom jackets. We watched you change over the years, yet there was always a basic, consistent style that was you. You accepted the way you looked with little or no make-up, hair dyes, flashy jewels, high heels or gaudy colours. You were a great role model for us. You cared about how you looked but in a down to earth, comfortable sort of way.

When we were little, you were careful with the way we looked, too. Matching outfits purchased for Thora and Nancy would be gently cared for so that they could eventually become matching outfits for Nancy and me, and finally I would grow into the original Thora dress and wear it solo. How did you ever get those little cherry dresses and plaid sailor dresses to last so long? You performed the same miracle with our tights, carefully darning the toes until they could be darned no more. At that point, the feet of the tights would be removed, the legs hemmed, an elastic stitched on to hook under our arches, and
coordinating knee socks slipped over to keep our otherwise bare toes warm. You had already discovered the layered look!

On the first day of school, we always had a new ensemble for the obligatory photograph. New dresses and jumpers were often purchased during our summer travels, while new shoes were found at Edward’s on Manitoba Avenue. The lives of these outfits were also prolonged with careful use: dresses, jumpers and blouses were worn for two days in a row, with clean underwear daily! All items were set out by you the night before. What a great feeling it was to go to bed every night knowing that you had carefully prepared every detail for us.

We were always told (by you) that you could not sew and we accepted that because… you could knit the most amazing sweaters, hats, scarves and Barbie clothes in the world! There was always a warm siwash to wrap up in or a spectacular Mary Maxim sweater to keep out the cold. You knit for us throughout our lives and now you create for our children, too. We all appreciated the Aussie sweaters you made for us down under. How DID you knit in that sweltering heat??

While you tried out different looks over the years, you also tolerated our experiments in fashion! Pixie cuts, platform shoes, stretchies, mini midi & maxi skirts, hot pants, polyester, crushed velvet, bubble blouses, India cotton shirts, hippie plaid shirts with ripped & faded jeans, jean skirts, perms, afros, shags, blue mascara, black mascara, green mascara, green nail polish, halter tops, Joe Cocker shirts, smock tops, fake fur, real fur, pierced ears, clogs and earth shoes. You endured all of these, letting us express ourselves as we chose. Your example makes it easier for me to watch my own son dye his hair black or wear a necktie with a t-shirt!

Amazingly, I think we all ended up having pretty good taste in clothes! Shopping trips to Tergesen’s sure help! There have always been many ways that you showed us how much you loved us. Clothes may seem superficial, but the time you took with ours was filled with acceptance and care; a reflection of your love for us.

Thanks Mom.

(This was originally written about ten years ago and is being posted now to honour my Mom on her 80th birthday on October 19, 2010.)



©Conni Cartlidge, 2000